He died today. At around 1:30, his heart just stopped. I held back my tears until gene and mother had left the pen. Then I cried, and cried, and cried some more. I tried to close his eyes, but they remained open. I smoothed his coat and rubbed his face. I hurt. I am positively miserable. I can't stop crying. They called to send their love. I appreciate the effort. Mother says it isn't my fault. Susan says theses things happen. I say life sucks. I should have checked them all again last night. But I didn't. And now... He's dead. The Pied Piper of Shady Hill is no more.

Chelsea says that Pain makes people think, thought makes people wise, and wisdom makes life endurable. That is her favorite quote I guess. And it helps. Kind of.. I miss him. Everywhere I look there is something that reminds me of him. His show poster. His halter. The pasture... He wasn't a very good show llama, but he was an amazing guard, and the best ambassador to the species. The irony in all of this is that he passed on, in his nylon cord, fancy dancy, extra special (his favorite), show halter. I don't know why, but when mother went down to him all she could find was his black beauty halter. Don't know what that is supposed to mean.

We tried.. and failed.

Yoda. is. no. more.